They Want A Divorce – You Don’t – Auckland Divorce Coach Tips
In New Zealand, the legal term for divorce is a Decree Nisi. To apply for a divorce party must be living separately for a period of two years. After the two-year period has passed, either side can file for a Decree Nisi.
A simple signature determines then end of the relationship. However, it is not as simple as both parties putting their signature to a document. Various steps must be taken before a divorce is legally finalised, This includes addressing financial issues and, where relevant, childcare plans. In other words, there is a lot of work, and no doubt, negotiation, to be done.
If one of you is not ready to divorce and is clinging to the hope of getting back together, it can be a challenging situation. Nonetheless, it is still possible to have an amicable divorce.
Taking time to discuss the situation openly and understanding each other’s feelings is key to having a peaceful divorce. However, given the emotions in a separation, seeking the help and input of an Auckland divorce coach, can be a good idea. They can help you find the way to self-care in this stressful time.
Different Views Of The Situation
When a person is certain that their relationship is beyond repair and far along in the divorce continuum, it is easy in their mind. But if the other side isn’t so sure, this can make separating a complex and difficult process.
When a client is bargaining, e.g. “if we separate for six months they said we might get back together”, a divorce lawyer will generally discourage this. When a lawyer drafts the documents for a separation, the assumption is that it will lead to a finite outcome. The thinking is that one half is determined to end their relationship.
When the lawyer reviews the papers supplied by the other partner or legal representative, it is usually quite clear that they seek a final separation. Often though, the other client will be in denial and will need to be reminded that their partner does want a divorce.
“A trail separation could be good for us. We can clear our heads, and maybe get back together at the end of the year.” Vague statements like this are sometimes used to appease, as it can be difficult to handle someone’s pain. This may be because those making the comments are fearful of the response they might receive. Thus, placating statements may be seen as a simpler solution for the person initiating the divorce.
What Is Really Happening
No matter what rationale is behind a “fuzzy” breakup in New Zealand, the legal standpoint is that separation starts when one party states, “I want to separate”. It does not require the consent of their partner. Therefore, the two do not need to agree for a breakup to occur.
No matter what your feelings or hopes tell you, when your partner says the relationship is over, it’s time to move on with the divorce. Dealing with the process of divorce is the only course of action to take. This can be difficult to digest, especially if you think you are at fault for the breakup or that if you think that a reconciliation is possible. A short reconciliation is usually only delaying the inevitable.
How To Use Your Lawyer
When tackling the emotional toll that can comes with divorce, use your lawyer for the intended purpose. Rather than running up large legal fees by using a lawyer as a therapist, it is far more beneficial to find a divorce coach. It can be challenging to accept the end of a relationship, especially when one could imagine it continuing. Painful as it is, accepting the outcome is better than clinging to remote possibilities.
The legal process from your lawyer is expensive. Don’t make the mistake of sitting with them and trying to think of ways to get your ex to stay. Your lawyer needs information from you to use in the separation agreement.
A divorce coach can assist in providing emotional guidance and practical solutions through every step of the separation process. They can help combat the emotional anxieties associated with divorce while formulating effective strategies that ease the process.
Furthermore, a divorce coach can help their client to develop a post-divorce plan. This will help the person understand and mange finances, often an important task for women as men generally handle the domestic finances. It can also include practices to deal with the emotional overwhelm of being rejected, and rebuilding self-esteem.
Separation can be an incredibly overwhelming situation, which is why having a divorce coach to help you manage your emotions can be vital. This is especially true when it comes to the actual legal aspects of the process. This is something which many people find difficult to bear. Fortunately, a divorce coach can offer support and guidance,
Adrianne McLean has been a divorce lawyer and is now an Auckland divorce coach. You can find out more about how she can help you from here website, Reset Coach.